Dick Appointment Etiquette

As I get older my requirements for dick appointments have changed. As a matter of fact, when I was younger there was no such thing as setting up an appointment to receive dick I would just be ready to go when he calls. Now that I actually have a job and a child I just can’t get up and go when I please. Even without having a child I just cannot do the spontaneous calls anymore. A girl is just tired sometimes and I need to treat getting dick like an event (unless it’s some plan D penis that I just settled for). Continue reading Dick Appointment Etiquette

Penis So Good That It Makes You Mad

*sigh* I HATE men that have really good dick. Like who in the hell decided it was okay for a man to have dick so good that it makes you feel like you’re in love when you know good and well that you are not? Great penis will make you want to change his oil, wash his car, cook him dinner and do yoga on his jimmy all within the same hour. I mean really, have you ever had sex so good that when you were done you looked at him with disgust? A man with good dick should come with a warning label on his pelvis. Receiving some amazing penis is like drinking water when you are dehydrated. Having a man around that has good sex makes you want to tell your friend to try it then fight her afterwards because now she knows how good it is too. After some good sex sometimes I get legit mad at him because I feel like he shouldn’t have boned me so good. Like why would a person do that?
Women, if you have a man around that has great dick please proceed with caution. You may just put him on your insurance and put him as a beneficiary on your insurance policies.
Sincerely,
The Single B*tch

Old Habits Die Hard

I do not know about you but I have a bad habit and it’s not biting my nails, chewing on pens or popping my gum. My bad habit is a person. I can’t speak for everyone but have you ever had someone in your life who you just could not shake? I am not talking about a committed relationship but more of someone who is your safety net or an old faithful that has always been there when you needed them. You know one of those guys who you feel will always be in your corner. What happens when you find yourself having these little nasty things called feelings? I battle with myself because I am not sure what I am feeling. I am hoping that I am feeling soft because” Aunt Flow” is on her way and I am not losing my gangsta. Continue reading Old Habits Die Hard