Afraid Of Being Happy

Who would have thought that there are people out there who are afraid of being happy? It is not to say that people do not want to enjoy feeling great and smiling throughout the day but some fear that their new found happiness may be taken away. I guess what I am trying to say is that I am afraid of being happy about the potential of a new found relationship because I may jinx myself. Sounds silly right? I know…

Love can always be scary especially when you do not know what to expect. Love is definitely scary for those of us who have been out of the game for a while because we may be a little rusty to the dating game and all that it entails. I can’t speak for everyone but what scares me the most is being happy about something and then it all goes to shits before you even find out what his favorite color is. Oh and let’s not even talk about how you finally thought you were going to start getting dick on the regular. Now you have to start back buying batteries. I mean true you can at least say you gave love a try but fuck all of that, I want it all. Personally I get tired of the trial period type of love life. You know how you sign up for a free trial of a service and by the time you get used to it you forget that it is only free for a certain amount of time and then you have to cancel before the company starts to charge? Well that’s how I feel about dating. It’s like you get used to something, it feels good for a while and the BOOM…it’s like it never existed.

For some dating is fun and for others it is quite stressful. I think some are afraid of being happy because they know that what they have may not last. After a certain age no one wants to keep getting their hopes up just to end up being alone again but at the same time we know that you may never find love if you don’t try. What is your biggest fear when it comes to dating and how do you deal with it?

The Single B*tch

Girl, Say Thank You

Have you ever thought about the men that you have prepared for another woman? I can think of a couple of times where I helped made a better man for the next woman. As I get older and as I grow I have realized that just because you like him doesn’t mean that he is the right man for you.

Love has always been funny to me. I could just never get it right. I have met some wonderful guys but for some odd reason the timing has always been bad. Timing is a bitch I swear. As I have stated in All I Want To Do, I can always peep the potential in a man. When I see that potential something in me wants to nurture him and help make him better. Maybe it’s the mom in me but either way I just choose to stick it out with a person when I know they are trying. I honestly do not think I ever came across a bad guy, just guys that aren’t right for me. There have been a couple of times where me and a guy didn’t work and then after the fact the guy will tell me what our situation taught him. When I hear that I taught a guy something about himself, life or relationships based on our relationship part of me becomes jealous and the other part of me smiles a little. See, I have a big ego and it makes me feel good that I was able to teach a dog some tricks but then I’m pissed that another girl is reaping the benefits. Like when am I going to inherit a man who was taught some shit by a girl that he fucked over??? I just want a man to be good to me…

I just feel that when it comes to me and a guy there is always something that goes wrong. After he and I are done it’s like he goes on to be honky dory with someone else. Of course, I know that all relationships will have issues and nothing is perfect but I will take that any day over being fucked over. Instead of going around being bitter and jaded, I like to feel that a girl should be thanking me for her new found boo. So girl don’t be rude, say thank you!

The Single B*tch

All I Want To Do

I swear, all I want to do is to sincerely love and care for someone. I want to help my man become a better man, grow together and compliment each other. Sometimes I wonder if it’s possible to find someone to truly love and not feel like it’s a constant battle.

In my honest opinion love is not selfish. I feel like part of my responsibility as someone’s significant other is to help make him a better man. No, you can’t and shouldn’t want to change someone if they are not willing to change but you should want someone that you love to become a better version of themself. I want to have a relationship where I feel like we learn from each other. If I’m with a person and I’m not finding out new things about myself or discovering things outside of my comfort zone then I don’t want it. I want us both to bring out the best in each other. I should never feel like I can’t be myself or feel drained from trying to love someone. Maybe it’s a flaw or even some may think it’s weird but I fall in love with the potential of a man. Not everyone is going to be at their height when you meet them so why avoid what could be a diamond in the rough. Some people may even need that extra push from someone. Some may have never had someone around who wants to see them excel. If I’m committed to a person then they become a reflection of me and vice versa. I’m just ready to find someone who doesn’t make me afraid of love.

It’s said that love is patient and love is kind. To me love is also unselfish. You should never enter a relationship and only consider yourself. Both people should only want the best for one another and if you should ever feel like your losing yourself then leave.


Love always,

The Single B*tch