Being Damaged Goods

“You had a lot of crooks tryna steal your heart. Never really had luck, couldn’t ever figure out how to love…”

When you have been single for a while I wonder if love will come naturally or if it is something you will learn how to do? When you are not familiar with someone loving you or making you feel important it makes you feel like it will never happen to you. After each fail at starting a relationship for some reason I feel that I have a little bit of energy, security and confidence that goes with it. I feel damaged.

” You had a lot of moments that didn’t last forever now you’re in the corner tryna put it together…”

Ladies you know how you try on that one banging pair of pants or dress that has your body looking like a playground but you notice that it has a stain, rip or a hole? Well that is how I feel, I feel like a gun with no bullet, or a car with no engine or a bride with no ring. I am beginning to think that it is not possible to have it all. There is nothing more dangerous than a woman scorned. You become angry, bitter and a ticking time bomb and maybe even mad at the world. It is funny because when I decide to date someone it is not him that I do not trust, it is myself that I do not trust. It is not that I feel like I will cheat or can not be honest, it is because it is no gray area with me either I really like you or I do not. I always over analyze and I wonder am I doing too much or maybe I should not do this or maybe I should fall back because I am giving too much of myself. It is easy to want to change yourself because of what you think he will like or because you think that you are the problem. Maybe you are not the problem but the way you think or feel could be an issue and you have to get right within. I must admit, it is hard to feel beautiful or worthy when you are damaged goods. One day maybe you can figure out how to love…

Sincerely,

The Single B*tch

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