Deal Or No Deal?

The more mature and older I become I start to think about the characteristics in men that I just cannot deal with. We women need to think about our “non-negotiables” while we are dating and trying to find our better half. When I was younger about 13 or 14 (like I was grown and knew everything about dating) I remember having a red spiral notebook with over 100 things that a boy could not do or have. I would have things like he could not have dried up deodorant balls under his arm, could not wear jerseys with no shirt underneath, no braids, cannot drive a Honda, he can’t wear his friends clothes and a whole bunch of silly stuff. Now do not get me wrong some of those things I still do not like (besides the Honda) but they are not something that I cannot work with. And let’s be realistic whether you are 13, 23 or 33 no woman should have over 100 things that a man cannot do or have, in that case you deserve to be single. For me what is non-negotiable goes way beyond the obvious like not having a car, stable job and a place to stay because at my age those are given. I like to think more about a man’s values and his logic. So I talked to some of my close friends and co-workers who are women, from different backgrounds and ages and asked what are some things that are non-negotiable while dating and this is what they said ( I put a star by the ones I totally agree and cannot negotiate with):

  • He cannot be a “mamas boy”
  • He has to passionate about something…even if it’s lawn care..he has to want to do it and be good at it*
  • He cannot be lackadaisical*
  • Ambition*
  • He cannot have small children
  • If he does not have manners*
  • A man with no backbone…I do not want to be in a relationship with a yes boy
  • He may not have to know how to cook but he has to be clean
  • He cannot have less sexual stamina than me*
  • Religion is a deal breaker. They must have some sort of faith in a higher power*
  • Not too many kids*
  • Has to be very respectful*
  • A loyal person*
  • He has to be confidant in what he has
  • He has to be financially motivated*
  • Cannot have a small penis*
  • He has to be multifaceted*
  • He has to be a man’s man…be able to fix cars and things around the house*
  • He has to be realistic*
  • Understands the meaning of having a friendship*
  • He respects the fact that if a woman has kids she is a mother first before anything!**
  • Great hygiene**
  • He has to be ambitious**
  • He cannot be a “bugaboo”
  • Good sense of humor*
  • Has to be humble
  • He cannot be egotistical**
  • Cannot by any means jealous
  • He treats his mom with respect*
  • He cannot be overly superficial*
  • He cannot have dirty nails
  • He cannot be immature
  • It’s such a big turn off when a man always has to roll with a crew
  • Multiple baby mamas**
  • Not pessimistic
  • No extensive criminal record**
  • Has to have goals set**
  • Has to pursue a career that benefits them
  • He has to be well-rounded**
  • Eclectic
  • Open minded* 

By now a woman should know what she seeks in a man. No one should have no non-negotiables but on the other side of the coin no woman should have too many. I feel that I am too old to try to upgrade a man but in the same sense they are some things that I am willing to compromise and work with. If you are single and dating or even in a committed relationship you need to start asking yourself if the man you are with is a reflection of you. Now tell me…what are you not willing to negotiate?

Sincerely,

The Single B*tch

 

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