I Do Not Want To Be That Woman

It amazes me how I look around and so many women are single. What amazes me even more are the amount of middle-aged women who have never been married. Do not get me wrong marriage is not for everyone and personally I think that if that floats your boat then who am I to judge? You have many women who have been married, divorced and now they are back on the dating scene again. Then you have that woman scorned who is bitter and male bashes every second she can. What I fear most is one day being that bitter middle-aged woman who has never experienced true love, living alone with a one-eyed cat and mad at the world.

I always imagined myself being a modern-day woman on the go with my luxury car, making six-figures at a fortune 500 company, living in a high-rise apartment in the city, with a loving happy child and exciting life. Currently I am a woman on the go who feels like I am going nowhere, with a wonderful child and working at a fortune 500 company for nickels and dimes. The funny this is that I never put in a man in my hopeful future life. I have never been that little girl who dreamed of her wedding day or what my dress would look like until now. Ironically I wanted my child first and then marriage. It may seem like I am afraid of commitment or marriage but I always knew how serious it is and it is something that takes a lot of thought and time. I am becoming afraid that I am going to be that woman who will be single forever and never married. Truth be told I am just in my mid-twenties so I guess I have a little time left but I think what bothers me is that I have been single for seven years and I think I have been in love once but it was with someone who did not even belong to me. So what is a girl to do, think or feel?

This day and age the idea of what a relationship should be is totally different. So many women are single and even struggling with wanting to love someone but cannot or even struggling with loving themselves. Why do you all think that the number of middle-aged single women is so high? Is it problems with the men wanting to have their cake and eat it too or do women just expect too much? We all cannot be a Miranda of Sex and the City, some of us want to be a Charlotte.

Yours Truly,

The Single B*tch

2 thoughts on “I Do Not Want To Be That Woman”

  1. In my opinion the answer to your question is very complicated . There are a lot of factors that play into why so many middle aged women (let’s be real…middle aged AFRICAN AMERICAN women) are single and unmarried. I’d like to think that quite a bit of us have become very driven, independent and self sufficient. I for example, experienced getting into a relationship and realizing in fact it isn’t what I want…at least not now. Don’t get me wrong I have my moments where I’d like to have something to cuddle up to, something to stroke my ego…or something just to stroke me period!!, but it all boils down to right now a relationship would weigh me down,. I can’t properly nurture it. It wouldn’t be my main focus. With each passing year I realize how close I am to “middle age”, how I don’t have any children and how I have yet to have that truly meaningful relationship with a man but then I realize it’s a sacrifice. Something for a greater purpose if you will. I’m setting the stage for a real man to come in and play his part. I’m patient. That’s the key.

    On the dark side of this I will reference a paper that a black male friend (ironically he is still single, extremely accomplished with no intentions of settling down) of mine wrote as his graduate paper. It was entitled ‘The Disadvantage of Black Women’. I can’t remember the specific numbers so I’ve plugged in my own to make my point so just follow me. If you start with 100% of the black male race you’ll find that at least 50% of them are incarcerated. We are left with 50% of eligible single black men. Of that 50%, 25% of those men are homosexual meaning they don’t even look our way or that are on the DL. This leaves us with 25% of eligible black men. Of that 25% , 10% of them only date “foreign”, or they only date white woman due to some inherent distrust I have found that they may have with their black mothers. That leaves us ladies with 15% of the black male population and of that 15% each man has about 10 women to his one penis…that leads us to the Stevie J effect, competition amongst ourselves and the fact that many of us just simply pass over good men for guys that we shouldn’t embrace. As I stated before these figures aren’t exact due to memory but the research was done and the exact figures were totaled. It’s startling but it’s something it think about. Food for thought.

    1. Pass that paper that your friend wrote to me please! Lol the facts, numbers and reality is mind blowing and scary. It’s crazy because it seems to come so natural and flow so easy for women of other races. Then, off topic a little, our own men can’t even appreciate us as you mentioned above. And you’re right it’s definitely a sacrifice but it’s like damn in the meantime can a girl get a little love or a taste of something real?!? Lol thanks for reading and commenting “biff” 🙂

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