I Finally Found A Reason

They say people are in your life for a reason, season or a lifetime. Honestly I get my season and reason people mixed up and sometimes I think of them as the same thing. I think of seasonal people as something like a placeholder in my life, you know someone to just keep you busy or help you get through a difficult or slow time in life. I think those three categories can apply to anyone in your life but usually when I mostly apply this to the men who have come in and out or remained in my life.

Last year one of my best friends who live in the DC area came down to Atlanta for her birthday and was staying in a hotel in midtown. So we were hanging out at the rooftop pool and we met some guys who were visiting from up north. I saw a guy who caught my eye and instantly I thought to myself “I have to have him!!!” He had flawless skin, beautiful teeth, a nice smile, tattoos and a beard. Call me simple but just the beard and tattoos alone drove me crazy! I was at a time in my life where I was living freely…I felt the most happy with my personal life during this time. Despite my attraction to him I really did not want anything but a friendship. I took my own advice and just went with the flow. I saw him a couple of times that summer and I went on a limb and spontaneously booked a flight above the Mason Dixon line to see him. The way he treated me and the time he took to plan our day impressed me. I guess hospitality isn’t limited to the south. Sometimes it’s nice when a man takes the time out to make plans and not leave up to you to decide. I did not reach into my purse one time that weekend; in fact he would not even let me leave a tip. My friends drove up from DC to hang out with us and we went out to enjoy ourselves and I can honestly say that was the most fun that I have had in a long time. Not to mention he even treated my friends great. When I returned home I felt differently about him. Before I just wanted a friend in him but now I wanted more, I wanted to see if we could build. I told him how I felt and unfortunately for me he told me that he was still in love with his ex-girlfriend. I SWEAR…THIS IS THE STORY OF MY LIFE!!! I can never have what I want. Since he was very honest and open with me I could not be mad at him, in fact I respected him more. To this day he and I remain friends and everything is cool. I wish him nothing but the best for him and his future.

He may not know it but he taught me a lesson. I think the reason why so many women get upset and hurt after what they thought would be love didn’t work is because we have expectations. It is always good going into a situation knowing what you want out of it. He actually showed me what I deserve in a man and now I refuse to settle for anything less than what he showed me. He set the bar very high. To be quite honest he did not do anything spectacular but he did the little things that most women take for granted and the things that guys forget to do. Things can change overnight and take the turn for the best or the worse you just have to know how to handle it. I have always been the type to cut off a guy once we stopped dating because I saw no purpose having him in my life afterwards. As I grow and mature I have learned that nothing will work without a solid foundation. I learned that you have to appreciate things for what they are and some things should not be changed. Like most women, when I meet a guy that I am interested in I instantly start planning our future. He taught me that not all things should be taken so seriously and just because he makes you feel good does not mean that he is good for you. Just because something did not work out does not mean that it was all bad. Know that it is okay to take REALISTIC risks sometimes and be open to different things. Do not be too quick to jump the gun and sometimes just let things flow. My mom has always told me that everything happens in its season and it will be in its own perfect timing. That guy taught me something…he was a reason for preparing me for my season to come.

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