Every now and again I will wake up with an epiphany and realize that I want that old thing back. One thing I never liked about myself is the fact that I can treat a guy that I once dated like I never knew him. I feel that there is no point of still communicating if we no longer date. There have only been a few rare occurrences where I still keep in contact with someone I have dated because we were good friends first. I guess to have me thinking about him years later, he must have been special.
I met him in college and we were always friends. He was one of those guys that I have always subconsciously had feelings for. Calling him for advice turned into quick conversations turned into text messages, then long phone calls, then drunken high nights that turned into leg shaking sex. He made me feel comfortable and I was not afraid to be myself with him. We gave each other good laughs and nights that turned into mornings. I could not even tell you how we ended. I think we were mutually caught up in other situations that took prevalence at the moment. So we fizzled out…
Sometimes you never realize how much of a good thing you and he had. I guess as you mature you realize how much he would have been a good fit for you. Sometimes I think I get in my nostalgic moods and I want to relive the past and feel good like that old memory made me feel. Then other times I think that maybe a shot at a second go round can be better than the first. Then knowing myself I think I just like the comfort of knowing that he is a familiar face. I hate finding someone new sometimes. Then to be quite honest I just want something to make me feel good…I just want to have fun.
Who knows, maybe my old thing can turn into a good thing and we can give it a shot again.
The Single B*tch