I am not perfect, I have many flaws and I sometimes make the same mistakes over and over again. In areas such as my career or even being a mother I am usually on the straight and narrow but when it comes to love I just cannot seem to get it right.
I feel that all of my dating situations are similar and at first I thought maybe our timing was off but then I realized it was me. Unfortunately I think I have become so jaded, comfortable and in denial for so long that I no longer see the error in my ways. Firstly it took me forever to realize what exactly it is that I want out of a man. I did not know if I wanted to go with the flow, have a fun buddy or if I wanted a commitment. Now I see that all along I wanted something real, monogamous and all mine. Year after year, man after man and tear after tear I noticed there was a pattern. I continued to let the same things happen over and over again. Deep inside I wanted a committed relationship but I settled for just sex because I thought that it was all he could offer me or that sex was the only result. That same guy would then make another girl his instead of me. I saw then that I was the one making the mistakes. I wasted time on those who could not give me what I wanted or needed.
I learned that you have to be upfront about what you want. You have to set the tone for where you want the situation to go. Now that I know the error in my ways, I will never let another fly under my radar just because I am not secure in what I know that I can offer or what I deserve.
The Single B*tch