I’m Buzzing

By: Victoria CaMille

I’m buzzing…
I’ve developed this obsessive compulsive behavior where I check my phone every 5 minutes hoping to see a call or text…
What’s next?
Besides the fact that I’ve dialed your number about 100 times but I’m too apprehensive to actually hit the call button…
I’m buzzing
I’ve been drinking and thinking and I’m somewhere between a grudge and forgiveness
somewhere between I hate you
But I miss you…
Trying to convince myself you’re not the only one, it’s just a phase that I can start a new chapter
I just have to turn this page
I tried to and I can’t….
It seems simple for you so give me some pointers
on how you just let go of something with no second thoughts or warning
Put me up on it…
So I can stop crying during these late nights
listening to these love songs feeling like giving up, wondering why
Continue to try…
To want someone who doesn’t want me
to love someone who doesn’t love me
to trust someone who doesn’t trust me
Giving… only to get nothing

This liquor got me feeling real empty and lonely
So I still continue to hit the call button…

I guess I really am buzzing…

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