Let’s Ask Him

You give and get advice from your friends but wouldn’t it be great to know what a guy thinks? We all need a platonic friend of the opposite sex to keep us on top of things but some of us are not that fortunate. Below you can submit a question that you would like to get a guy’s opinion on. Each week I will pick one question and ask one guy his opinion on it and I will post his response below. We all need some clarity…ask away!

Hi.. I’d like to know how men feel about dating women with children? What’s their biggest fear when choosing a woman with children? Thanks! “If a guy wants to date you he will plain and simple. Guys usually have to be eased into it. One of the biggest fears is for the kid(s) to be pushed off on him too soon. Let it come naturally and easy but do it only if he is ready”-Alford, 30, GA

What’s fascinating about having a threesome? “Ok, initially I used to think the idea of a 3some was pretty dope. When you see them in porn, it appears that there’s a lot of extra pleasure taking place. As an adult, after multiple 3somes, I’ve realized that they are somewhat overrated. When done with a significant other there’s often jealousy issues that can arise. Under the right conditions ( drugs, alcohol, out-of-town or with strangers) a threesome/orgy can be fun and exciting!”-Michael, 29, TN

How sexually involved would you want your woman to be?I think its cool for my girl to match my sex drive or be somewhere close by. If we are together then I want to have sex a lot…by a lot I mean 4-5 times a week. Definitely into trying new things that keep the sex exciting. We do not have to bring other people into the bedroom but she has to be open-minded. Me and her just have to keep the spark burning hot.”-John, 28, GA

Why is it that married men are attracted to single women? I am 28 and a single mom of 3, about to graduate with my bachelors degree in Criminal Justice with a specialization in Homeland Security. I have a funky style and a sport a mohawk. It seems all the married me are attracted to me. I do not need financial security help, all I want is to be taken seriously. “Because that married man aint in a secure marriage. His wife is lacking in something. He is looking to fulfill what he desires versus embracing what he has. Also the woman he wants to become involved with is giving him some type of chemistry. She may be flirting with him unknowingly or it could be he just want his cake and cookies and milk on the streets but want his wife to burp him and wipe his mouth. Sounds like he wasnt ready for marriage now it’s one thing to look at a woman and say “damn she is sexy” but to pursue her is completely different.”-James, 28, GA

Why is it that men aren’t as open about their love for the “bigger girl” or “bbw”, but yet they secretly attempt to engage relationships or a sexual encounter on the low, or discreetly constantly. Why be ashamed of what you like? Is it peer pressure or the timidness of getting rejected by your home boys that keeps you in secret about having an itch for the bbw? “ It has all to do with societal views on what is accepted. Like men do or want a generalization of what all men want. If big girls were praised as heavily as the “bad girls” are it would be no option dudes would be liking big girls. I guess the secrecy comes in of just having the experience with a bbw…just to say you did it.”-Shawn, 25, GA

I am a single mother of one and my child’s father and I have not been together in 3 years and he has said to me that we will never work-out, but I feel like deep down he doesn’t mean that am I foolish for feeling this way even though he has told me we will never work out. I just need to know do I continue to have faith our family will be whole or just believe him and move on and don’t look back. “Well this is a tricky situation as we have all heard, if you love something let it go and if it comes back it’s yours. The key, though is truly letting go. It’s tough moving on when your heart tells you that a certain someone is yours or meant to be yours. In this instance the problem is not whether you and this guy will be together, because you will never be able to know the future. Ultimately the answer is up to you miss ma’am. Is it fair that you should have to wait on a person who has CLEARLY said they don’t want to be with you. Hypothetically if he does choose to come back in….let’s say 3 years….is it fair for you to have to wait patiently for him to come to his senses? Personally, I don’t believe that any person should have to go through the pain and agony of wishing, hoping, and waiting that a person will come back, so you have to ask yourself are you willing to wait for a person that may never return? Is that fair to you, if you think so then wait, but if you have any doubt at all then at least consider the possibility of enduring the loss process, and then the healing process.”-Edward,28, GA

I really need to find another way to co-parent with my ex without fighting arguing we have 3 kids together and I really can’t Stand to talk or be around him more than 2mins….cause an argument will break out….and then when I release some of my hardness off he use that to think we can get back together…. so I’m asking how can I get him to really really understand we are not meant for each other…. period…. and that he need to move on and let’s co-parent the right way… you probably tell me something I’ve already told him…but help please. “Well I’m actually doing the co-parenting thing now. In order to have a healthy relationship with him y’all both have to realize it’s not about y’all and your emotional feelings but the well-being of the kids. In order to do that lines have to be drawn and a real life adult conversation has to happen if not the only people who will suffer are the kids because two people can’t get out of their feelings.”-Reggie, 30, FL

Also if I could add my two cents in I think that any healthy co parenting will not happen until there is some maturing on his behalf. Also until that point is reached you might want to consider having a third-party that your kids father can pick the kids up from so you won’t have to be present. But of course all lines of communication should remain open-The Single B*tch

In a world full of beautiful people….there will ALWAYS be a fabulous single B*TCH

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