Missing What I Never Had

They say you can’t miss what you never had…well I think its possible. Love and relationships is a funny thing. You experience emotions you never thought you had and it takes you places that you never thought you could go. All of that feels good unless you have never experienced what you think love is.

Going to the movies on a Friday night, having a lazy Saturday in watching movies, enjoying drinks at the bar on a Sunday evening and getting ready for work on Monday morning with him are things that I wish I had. I want to be courted. I want to wake up smiling because I just received a “good morning” text and I know I was the first thought on your mind. I want to know what it feels like to have an argument and going days without a call or text so I can miss him like I haven’t seen him in years just to make up and hug him so tight. I want to be able to look forward to my work week just because I know that once the weekend comes I will be able to spend it with him. I wish I had someone to introduce to my family. Someone that can sit at the dinner table with me while my mom cooks Sunday dinner or someone that my dad can give the third degree to so he can make sure that he is fit for his princess. I wish that I had a man to watch all of my reality shows that I am so hooked on with and even though he may not like them but he chimes in and talks sh*t about what he sees. I want to experience holidays, birthdays and unexpected gifts. I want to be able to shower my man just like he showers me. I wish I had a man to make feel like a man is supposed to feel. I want my summer fling to turn into my valentine and share April showers with. I wish I knew what it felt like to cook breakfast for and serve it to him in bed. I wish I had someone to make feel like a king. I want to be his queen. I want to be able to hear a love song and relate to it instead of wondering what it would feel like. I want to go through the ups and downs and rocky times with someone. I want to love someone so hard that it actually hurts to feel so good. And as crazy as it sounds I want to experience the pain of a break up and maybe even leave knowing that it’s okay and life goes on and I have the chance to love again.

Maybe the reason why some miss what they have never had is because they are in love with the idea of something. It comes a time when you finally feel the need for something but it is not in reach. It is okay to want, dream and hope for something but you cannot let something that you desire overcome you. Believe it or not wanting to fill a void so badly can end up damaging you because it can have you angry and emotionally bruised. Until the day comes when you finally get what you deserve and want just remember that someone somewhere is missing you too because you are something that they never had

Yours Truly,

The Single B*tch

2 thoughts on “Missing What I Never Had”

  1. OMG!!! I can completely relate! I used to listen to Tamia’s “Almost” because I wanted something I never experienced: true love! The late night phone calls, early morning texts, the arguments, all of it. It makes me feel better to know that there is someone who relates to how I feel, especially when it seems like all your friends are in happy, loving relationships and you’re the only single one in the group. Thanks so much for sharing your experience and letting all us single girls know we’re not alone!

    1. For a minute I thought I was the only one who felt this way!!! I feel like I’m missing out a little. I’m at the age now where I want to experience true love or at least something like it

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