Written by: Emme
So – you are queer in a big city. Sounds fun right? Sounds like there should be no vagina uneaten and no dick unridden right? Sounds like there should be plenty of opportunity and people to date. Wrong. And wrong again.
First off, dating is difficult in itself. But dating in the community is even more difficult. Add in being a person of color and you have just narrowed down the playing field.
Somewhere down the line, we decided Atlanta was the hotspot. The black Mecca. Home of MSR, Bulldogs, Marquette, Blake’s, Burkhart’s and more gay nights than one can imagine. We queers travel in packs. You meet up with your crew, get dressed, and you hit the town. You hit Daiquiri Factory for a quick drink and immediately, you run into your ex’s ex sidepiece that you used to fool with back in the day. Your night just got a bit more interesting. You go to introduce yourself to the ex’s ex sidepiece new boo and you remember scrolling on their page because your home girl had a crush. Talk about six degrees of damn separation.
As a pansexual woman who lived in Atlanta and being from Atlanta, it was tough not finding someone that I didn’t know or that I didn’t know who they fucked last. I was never one to be on the “scene”. I only ventured out during our gay holidays – MLK weekend, Memorial Day, and Black Pride, not the white one, because you know…
But when I went out it was feeding season. I was new meat. But in reality, I’d seen these same faces plenty times before whether it be around the way, house parties, or creeping on a home girl’s boo crush page on IG (that’s another story).
I want to dispel some rumors of the LGBTQIA community (disclaimer – I don’t speak on the behalf of the entire community, but we have all been there).
- We all sleep around. Now, while I cannot fully say this is wrong, but we are not all out here hopping from one bed to another. Some of us want a meaningful relationship – while getting a little action in between.
- Our relationships don’t last. Now granted, in the community, you hit 6 months, you are working on a world record. But seriously, I have seen some monogamous relationships in the community that I have admired.
- She only realized she was gay after she had a kid or two. I’m about 50/50 on this because I have a kid and have had my share of girl on girl relationships LOL.
- All studs want to be men. Let’s talk about this. Now, don’t get me wrong there are some masculine of center women out there. However, all of them don’t walk around with a strap and demand you call them by the male version. There are some studs who are bisexual and some who are submissive in the relationship. Hell, to be honest, I believe stud is a term of dress not personality. (We will get into that later.
- Bisexuals are freaks. Bisexual DOES NOT mean you are fucking both genders at the same time. Let’s leave that there.
Dating will always be an uncomfortable area for myself. But as a 28 year old single woman with my phone drier than Duchess’ lips, I want a relationship and the in between face rides… maybe that’s just me.
I’m interested in hearing the myths and rumors that you have heard about dating in the LGBTQIA community. Let us know!