Sabotage

Relationship after relationship we women go through a lot. We may not want to admit it but a failed attempt at love can take a lot from us. Some of us develop issues that we never even knew we had. I feel that women who do not date much compared to women who do tend to experience much more hesitance, fear, second guessing and in some cases some insecurity. For some we tend to over analyze and the second guessing turns into sabotage.

For women who do not date as much, we tend to triple think the process of dating. I think that because we have not dated in a while we try to do so much damage control that we lose control and what could have been a great relationship is now over. Personally I hardly date and when I do I have to be 100% interested and it is also an excruciating process for me. When I do have a love interest I try so hard to get things right that I end up wrecking things. I go from thinking I am not texting enough to texting too much. I go from being afraid of getting to close that I just end up settling for sex because it is safe. I go from thinking the guy is prefect to thinking he is full of sh*t because I talked myself into believing so.

Is it fear, hurt, intentional or being aware? I must admit that there is nothing wrong with being cautious but there is nothing healthy about over thinking or over analyzing. We spend so much time trying to get right what we have gotten wrong so many times before. I often wonder if I will ever be “fixed” and learn how to let it flow. Until then the only way I know how to protect my heart is through sabotage…

Yours Truly,

The Single B*tch

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