Served On The Side

At certain times he calls you, wants to see you and only hangs out with you at the house. Then there are times when it is all about you, you see him multiple times a week, you get gifts, great convo, you are treated like a queen and you get all of the hugs and kisses that a girl can ask for. The funny thing is you are not the only one, in fact you are the other one.

Whether you want to admit it or not we have all been the side chick at least once even if we knew it or not. I am not sure if it is just me but it seems like a lot of guys are taken or have a “situationship.” I would like to think of myself as a very trusting person but I always assume that a guy may or may not have something already going on with someone else. Do not get me wrong, I do not condone being the side chick, but I have been viewing this topic a lot different lately. In this case there is always 4 sides to the story. It is the truth (more than likely what the other girl says), what they guy says, what the other girl says and what or how the main chick feels. So I feel that it goes a little something like this…

There are three different types of side chicks. You have the girl who has the intentions of being promoted to the main girl (which will never happen) and has every intent to break the relationship up. Then you have the girl who gets in where she fits in and just wants to get while the getting is good. Then, poor thing, you have the girl who has no idea in the world. At times I wonder to myself if the side chick who has no intent of being with the guy even counts. Not that it is okay to get involved with a guy who has a girlfriend but I feel that once you start its hard to stop and since a woman is only human she can not help but to get her feelings involved and to tell the truth she just wants to be loved.

So in this situation who holds the most blame? Who is the one who has the most to lose? It is always great to be the entrée but NO ONE wants to be served on the side…

14 thoughts on “Served On The Side”

  1. Oh lawd. This is a hard topic to address…ESPECIALLY if you were the “main chick” who’s been hanging on to a man who isn’t ready to let side chicks go! So who is to blame?? Most of our independent, self sustaining, don’t need no man women *clears throat* will say “THE MAN! YALL GET MORE MAD AT THE SIDE CHICK THAN YOU DO AT THE MAN”

    1. That’s definitely one of my points! I think that some women fail to realize that the other girl is not your girl and as much as she might be wrong… The man is the one that should be checked. He cheated… Not the side girl

  2. In this situation I feel like everyone involved holds a piece of the blame. The guy of course is wrong for intentionally juggling several women. The side chick that feels as though she will soon be promoted to the #1 spot is wrong because she wasnt able to fight temptation; which can be hard at times; but she set her own self up for failure. The side chick thats just getting while the getting is good is just low down. I’m sure she is able to find a single victim but she doesn’t care because her intentions are foul. She has an “on to the next” type of attitude. & the poor chick that has no clue is pathetic (sorry to say) but she has to do better. Their are certain things that men do that clearly indicate infidelity and as women we should be able to pick up on those things. We often decide to ignore the signs because “we’re happy”. The chick dreaming of being his #1, his main, & the clueless chick have the most to lose. He will bounce back & so will the “on to the next chick”. Their are plenty more fools out their willing to play their game.

    1. “On to the next chick” I like that. You are right… A lot of us ignore the signs. It’s kind of like if we don’t believe it then it’s not happening. Thank you for commenting 🙂

  3. Ugh! *sips wine* I hate this topic! LOL! As you stated we have all played the “side chick” even if we don’t want to face it. However, if you didn’t learn anything and continue to play a part in these over indulgent and selfish situations then I have nothing for you! You are officially apart of the problem! Of course the man is wrong, but let’s be honest…he really has no power. The women playing these “roles” are who are really in control. First and foremost….any woman playing the role of the “main chick” deserves whatever she is getting. Excuse me but, WTF is a “main chick”? A title that makes you feel better about the fact that due to your low self-esteem you are willing to be with a man who repeatedly cheats and is known to keep a team of women? In my eyes, “main chicks” are side chicks with insider information. You are still of no importance. I wish I would be walking around here proclaiming to be a “main chick”!!! Secondly, a “side chick” is a catalyst for male behavior in this generation. Having played that role a time before in life I can honestly say I have no respect for these types of women. Hell I had no respect for myself when I was doing it. These types of women are the most dangerous because of the delusion that they give life. True enough a man can sell a girl a pipe dream but to believe in them, not knowing the difference is definitely dangerous. On top of that you have Scandal, and Being Mary Jane to thank for the glorification of these types of women. You are not Olivia Pope…get over yourself! And as for the woman who just doesn’t know, well I saw a comment labeling these types of women “pathetic”. In my eyes those are the women with the most power! Those women are taken care of!! They are carrying on a relationship with their men! These are the women who get rings and lead thriving lives with no knowledge, headache or strife over any of these other b*tches! These women get rest at night! I have a belief on infidelity. This is not to say I condone it but I honestly feel that every man and woman for that matter who are destined to live together until death do they part will have their day of temptation. It’s all about how you handle it. As long as I don’t find out, I can’t say I truly have a problem. Women that matter to men usually have NOTHING to worry about. Side chicks are defiantly NOTHING to worry about. I can’t say that type of woman is pathetic. People die every day taking their infidelities and insecurities to the grave.

    Been there. Done that.

    1. @Until The Ring Comes that’s probably the most realistic answer. We are living in a society/generation that has labels for these roles because, as sad as it is, being a “side chick” IS glorified. These hoes watching tv, listening to music, and seeing movies that are making them comfortable playing a role that’s essentially breaking up someone else’s REAL relationship.
      And in my opinion, just because a man is cheating, it doesn’t take away from the realness of your situation. As it was said before, everyone is tempted as some point. Realizing that everyone is capable of cheating isn’t being too tolerant, I believe it’s being realistic. We’d all like to think that our man is perfect and would never even look at another chick. But the truth is; there will always be somebody with a fatter ass, a smaller waist, and a prettier face and that’s when a man’s other head takes over. That’s just how it is.
      The woman at home, who has empowered herself because she knows mistakes happen, and men can be idiots, holds all the cards. Whether she knows about the side chick or not. Because I think she comes out on top anyway. If she knows something like that could happen, if she ever finds out, the blow isn’t as hard and it’s easier to make a decision. Or like someone else said, she never finds out and in that case; I don’t think it’s pitiful. I think the fact that the other relationships didn’t even mean enough to disrupt a relationship says more…

  4. I guess I have a different outlook on the matter. When I was younger, I was knowingly a side chick for three years on and off. Looking back it just happened. We were friends hanging out one day and next thing I knew we were in love. I knew about his girlfriend. I knew when he was with her and what he was doing, there were no secrets he told me everything . He knew my mentality. I had the mindset of a man. I was drama free. I knew he loved both of us. I never questioned him or asked him to leave her. I didn’t want him to. I was okay with the position I had. He knew I wasn’t waiting around for him when he was with her. I was doing my thing. I didn’t want to be his girlfriend, to me she was weak. I played my position until another chic came into the picture. I wasn’t about to let him treat me the same way he did his girlfriend. I walked away from the situation and somehow he always found his way back apologizing and saying she was nothing and that he loved me. I woke up one day after three years of dealing with him and decided I loved myself more. We didn’t have any communication for two years. Then one day we met up for lunch and had a very open conversation. We cleared the air between us and squashed any beef we had. I don’t feel good about what I did. But I asked God for forgiveness and it’s done. He and I still text maybe twice a year on birthdays and to just check on each other. We will always have love for one another but nothing more. He still wants me to be the girl I once was, but I’m not her anymore. I know my worth.

    1. It’s funny because I can relate to your the most! It’s something that wasn’t suppose to happen but I did and before you knew it I was comfortable. We both loved each other very much but could never be together even after he became single. I often wonder though if my “position” tainted my future with him?

      1. I kept these lyrics from Floetry’s song Ms. Stress hanging in my apartment during those three years. “It’s better that it hurts, it’s better that it feels this way to me
        I can’t be too comfortable cause loving you is not my destiny”
        This song kept me from getting too comfortable and forgetting what the situation really was. Don’t waste time thinking about what could have happened. I don’t think your position tainted your future. If he loved you, he knew you were a good woman. I always say that if it was meant to be, it will be. Life isn’t over yet!

  5. Well ladies I must confess I’m playing both hands right now! I’m someone fiance and I’m someone side chick. Crazy I know but hold up let me explain, me and my fiance have been togather 3 years engaged for 6 months and I live him to life. However there is this certain someone who I was saying about 6 years ago we broke up due to being young and not communicating. He called me out the blue a few months ago (I know why is my number still the same) and its been fire works every since. He is currently in a relationship as well. We have history we both know its wrong but we don’t want to hurt the people we are currently with. Even though he just got caught but he still calls and txt like nothing happen. We see each other when every we can which is about twice a week and we talk Everyday! At this point I have to be honest I’m greedy I want my cake and eat it too simple. My fiance loves the ground I walk on and does any and everything he can for me. So does my sidelinehe has bbecome like my third income and he knows it. I know I’m his side line too but I’m getting the best of both worlds.

    1. Be careful when playing with fire. What is going to happen if you get caught and your fiance leaves you? And what if your ex decided to stay with his girlfriend and work it out and stay faithful. Don’t lose something good for something that isn’t guaranteed. In the end it won’t be worth it.

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