There are very few times that I will make bash but today is one of those days. I never understood why men feel like the can do and say stupid sh*t and we women are not supposed to get upset. As women we are naturally emotional beings and we sometimes do not think logically when it comes to decisions with our partner I think that men can sometimes act so selfishly and once they get what they want they expect you to be okay with their decision. What is funny is that men can dish it but cannot take it. They remind me of kids in a way. They feel that they can make a mess and expect you to clean it up or we should understand about what they did. Though we should not harp on our anger but it is okay to admit when you are hurt or mad about a particular situation.
We all go through sh*t and those situations sometimes leave stains. Some women are not as strong emotionally and mentally as others. Personally, I have been through some sh*t and even though I feel that as a person I have grown I find it hard to let some things go. I have been told by a friend that maybe I am afraid to let go because I find comfort in the hurt. After some thought I think that it is true. Sometimes you never really realize that you are mad about something until you come across a trigger. No woman wants to admit that she is bitter but damnit I am here to finally admit that I am a bitter b*tch. Now let me make this clear, as far as everyday life goes I am an easy-going happy person. Even when it comes to love I am easy-going but it is a particular situation that I have that makes me become angry here and there. There is just a huge part of me that I feel is holding me back from progressing because I am still hurt about it. I find it hard to try to face what is bothering me because that means I would have to accept the final outcome. I am just looking forward to the day when I am ready to face my issue head on, deal with it and accept it. I feel that I may never be over it but at least I can learn how to adjust.
They say the first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem. That alone is a huge step. Do not be afraid to admit that you are hurt or even mad. What does matter is how you handle it and if you let it consume you. Control your problem, do not let it control you
The Single B*tch
I can’t express how much I hate the term “baby mama” but to be quite honest if you have never been married and you have a child by someone that is all that you will be referred to as. For me being a baby mama has been one of the hardest titles that I have had to withhold. On this post I am not describing my position as a mother to a child but being the mother of HIS child in relation to the father. As I mature, grow and as I become older I tend to think a lot differently when it comes to being his child’s mother.
Okay so maybe it is just me but being a baby mama has so many negative connotations and views. When thought of most people on the outside probably think we are full of drama, selfish, loud, ungrateful, hateful and bitter and in some cases that is so far from the truth. I have been co-parenting for 6 years and to be real it works when you have two mature adults who know that the child comes first but because the situation may seem amicable and calm does not mean that I am happy. When it comes to being the mother of his child I feel that you come to many obstacles that are seen and unseen. What hurts the most for me is that I sometimes feel that your plight, strength, value and emotions go unnoticed and not taken into consideration. Sometimes I get so tired of always trying to do the right thing or thinking with logic instead of emotions. Sometimes I do not want to be understanding, strong or compromising. Why can I not just give a damn sometimes instead of caring or being concerned. It’s like I am so immune to doing what I have to do and going through the motions that I feel that I can’t feel anything…I have to be numb. I feel that there are so many double standards when being his “baby mama”. It is ok for the man to speak on how he feels and take matters into his own hands because that’s what a man is supposed to do. As a woman if I speak out loud about how I feel or think I am petty, bitter, mad, jealous, a hater or being controlling. I would never hinder anyone from being happy or doing what is best for them but how can I when I think my feelings do not matter? Am I supposed to always just deal with things? While letting things happen is easy for others but for some, like me, it is not. Just because things happen overnight for him does not mean that I have to accept it overnight. It does not always work like that. I don’t want to just deal with it sometimes and I do not always want to be the bigger person. Now I see why some think it is best to do things “the right way.”
No matter what you call the mother of a child her title should hold more weight. If you happen to be a good “baby mama” you deserve the upmost respect. I love my child more than life itself and I do not regret having him but I regret the situation. If I could do it all over again I would. I have never been a woman to confuse my role, I know where I stand and where I belong. I will never overstep my boundaries but it works both ways. I get tired of just taking it. I don’t want to live by “it is what is.” I want be more than just a title, I want to be known as Whitney a person. I have feelings too, I am not a robot. There are people who have long time boyfriends that they have children with and I think it’s truly a beautiful thing if love is truly the foundation. Different strokes for different folks. For me personally, I would NEVER have a child again without the ring.
This sh*t ain’t easy…
-The Single B*tch