Tag Archives: being single

Missing What I Never Had

They say you can’t miss what you never had…well I think its possible. Love and relationships is a funny thing. You experience emotions you never thought you had and it takes you places that you never thought you could go. All of that feels good unless you have never experienced what you think love is.

Going to the movies on a Friday night, having a lazy Saturday in watching movies, enjoying drinks at the bar on a Sunday evening and getting ready for work on Monday morning with him are things that I wish I had. I want to be courted. I want to wake up smiling because I just received a “good morning” text and I know I was the first thought on your mind. I want to know what it feels like to have an argument and going days without a call or text so I can miss him like I haven’t seen him in years just to make up and hug him so tight. I want to be able to look forward to my work week just because I know that once the weekend comes I will be able to spend it with him. I wish I had someone to introduce to my family. Someone that can sit at the dinner table with me while my mom cooks Sunday dinner or someone that my dad can give the third degree to so he can make sure that he is fit for his princess. I wish that I had a man to watch all of my reality shows that I am so hooked on with and even though he may not like them but he chimes in and talks sh*t about what he sees. I want to experience holidays, birthdays and unexpected gifts. I want to be able to shower my man just like he showers me. I wish I had a man to make feel like a man is supposed to feel. I want my summer fling to turn into my valentine and share April showers with. I wish I knew what it felt like to cook breakfast for and serve it to him in bed. I wish I had someone to make feel like a king. I want to be his queen. I want to be able to hear a love song and relate to it instead of wondering what it would feel like. I want to go through the ups and downs and rocky times with someone. I want to love someone so hard that it actually hurts to feel so good. And as crazy as it sounds I want to experience the pain of a break up and maybe even leave knowing that it’s okay and life goes on and I have the chance to love again.

Maybe the reason why some miss what they have never had is because they are in love with the idea of something. It comes a time when you finally feel the need for something but it is not in reach. It is okay to want, dream and hope for something but you cannot let something that you desire overcome you. Believe it or not wanting to fill a void so badly can end up damaging you because it can have you angry and emotionally bruised. Until the day comes when you finally get what you deserve and want just remember that someone somewhere is missing you too because you are something that they never had

Yours Truly,

The Single B*tch

Things for a Single B*tch to keep In Mind….

I do not care who you are…dating is not easy at all. I do not believe in following rules but I do believe that there are some things for you to keep in mind and remember while dating. I am no expert on dating but I do believe that I have operating as a single girl in this world down to a science. Here is what keeps me functioning…

It is okay to be selfish. Of course you do not want to be inconsiderate of someone else’s feelings but it is important to put your needs and wants in front of his at times…you are not in a relationship yet!

Do not let loneliness lead you to lust. I am guilty of this time after time. I know it can be so hard to come home to an empty house and you do not have that companion to make you feel good. There have been times I have given a guy a chance that did not even deserve to be in my presence. Wanting and needing something that I am missing has even gotten me into some sticky situations. Some were extremely hard to get out of and some even left deep emotional scars. Do not let being lonely determine how you think of yourself. Honey being alone has even made me find men attractive that do not even deserve a second look. I have even considered trying to “upgrade” a man and Lord knows I am too old to “build-a-man”. Who knew that something that you think can make you feel better makes you feel so bad…

Think outside the box. One reason I found myself missing out on dating opportunities is because I did not want to step outside of my comfort zone. I did not want to believe that other races, ages and men of other backgrounds that I was not use to could not offer me anything. I mean hey…the only thing that could happen is it not working!

Get to know you. Like I said…I am not expert on dating but when it comes to being a single girl I know all of the ropes. One thing that bothers me about some single girls is that fact that they do not know how to feel comfortable alone. It is never okay to feel like you need the company of another to make you feel complete. During this time outside of a relationship get to know what it is that makes you happy.  If you always hopping from one man to the next how is it possible to NOT lose yourself??? Date you for a while…it’s okay.

Get real and be honest. Honesty is the key. Before you can be honest with others you have to first be honest with yourself. You have to get down to the “nitty gritty” and figure out what is it that you really want.

Don’t settle for sex. If sex is not what you want then don’t settle for it. Every girl needs their pipes clean every now and then but if you’re just having sex to fill a void do not do it. I have been there and done that and it only hurts…TRUST ME!!!!!

What about your friends? Utilize this time to build your friendships and have fun with your friends. Do not forget about them…you need em’

Do not contradict. If you do not have it all together…do not expect him to. It’s not fair!!!

KNOW YOUR WORTH!!!!!!! No explanation is needed…

Sincerely,

The Single B*tch