Tag Archives: getting over hurt

What Is Your Defense Mechanism?

We all go through hurt from time to time. Some of us can deal with negative situations better than others. The rest of us just find a way to deal with the pain. Some reactions are innate and others are built and accumulated through time. After situation, relationship, situationship and whatever the hell else, I realized that I have accumulated a little (okay maybe a lot) of debris. To help prevent me from feeling anymore pain I realized that I have developed a defense mechanism.

My defense mechanism is my guard to defend myself against love.

Deep inside I feel a lot of different emotions. Sometimes I cry, laugh, get angry and other times I just let whatever happened roll off my shoulders. So I recently connected with someone I used to date and he told me that I was one of the hardest girls that he has ever met. At first, in a weird way, I took this as a compliment but later on I realized that continuously having a guard up is not healthy. After talking to him I brought this up to a friend and she told me “you have no emotions”. Now for some reason this shocked me. When I sat back and thought about it I realized that they were not the only ones who have said this to me, others have too. I guess my heart grew cold to preserve it from every getting broken again. I was watching Modern Family one day and Phil said that his dad is like a candy that has a hard shell but has a lot of candy inside. I was like “that’s me!!! That explains me perfectly”. But I wonder what it will take to soften my shell to get to the chewiness deep within?

When it comes to love, I should not have to defend myself against it. Love is not the enemy…

Yours Truly,

The Single B*tch