Tag Archives: growth

One Sometimes Isn’t the Loneliest Number

In my previous post growing pains I discussed going through a point in your life of self-reflection and growth. A part of this developmental stage is being alone. In this case I am not just focusing on being alone in reference to a romantic relationship but a relationship with yourself. While growing into who you want to be it is important to utilize this alone time to help make yourself better.

While I was going through self-reflection and growing into a better me I found myself feeling a little anti-social. I am not exactly a social butterfly but I am pretty sociable. I like to go to the bar for a nice cocktail or enjoy a nice summer day party to listen to some great music. Slowly but surely I found myself not wanting to be around people, I didn’t want to pick up my phone or return text messages. At first I thought something was wrong with me like I was going through a depression or something but then I realized that I needed this. I was afraid that I would lose friends but my true friends respected the process. I also found that I was able to notice and observe more and this includes people and things. I also noticed some things in myself that I did not like or that needed improvement. I saw things in some people who made me want to no longer involve myself with them. I thought about some friends that I grew apart from that I wanted to reunite with and I also noticed that some people had a whole lot of things going on that I did not want to add more weight on me. Think about this…when most of your friends call you of course it is natural for them to share with you what they are going through. And even though that is what friends do and naturally you want to listen and help but when you are going through it is too much to handle. Being a loyal and true friend I wanted to lend out advice, give my opinion or just sit there and listen to them vent but I knew that I did not want my process to be interrupted. I soon found out that this…being alone…was the best thing to ever happen to me.

If you too are going through this do not get down. Take one day at a time and learn to listen to yourself and figure out your purpose in the midst of all of this “mess”. If you utilize this time positively and smartly I promise that you will come out bigger and better than before.

With Love,

The Single B*tch

The Infamous Question…Why Are You Single???

When we girls go out to a club, bar or wherever and if we get approached by a guy why is the first question that he asks is “why are you single?” And of course my reply is ” if I knew I wouldn’t be single.” But then I thought….hell, why am I single?  But then I reflected back over past relationships and I realized how they impacted me as an individual and I feel as though that I need to grow more before I can share myself with someone else.

Do you feel that you are single because of bad karma? Do you feel that your status defines you? For one minute please do not think something is wrong with you or less of yourself because you do not have someone to call your own at this moment. I’m starting to believe that some men are truly intimidated by strong and confident women. Some of us women do not even know what we need in a man. Also, lets not confuse what we want and need. Some of us do not even step outside of our comfort zone and we go out to places that we know do NOT have boyfriend material there. While you are alone maybe this is the time you should be discovering yourself and this should be a time of growth. I feel as though if you cannot stand alone it is almost impossible for you to stand with someone else. Women I can not let some of us off the hook because sometimes we make it hard for ourselves. You also can not expect certain things from a man if you can not offer something just as valuable in return. I do not think it is fair to want a guy to give, give and give but there is no reciprocity on our end.  I absolutely HATE hearing that when you are not looking you will find love. But why would you look when you are not ready to make yourself available. Is it true that timing is everything?  So ladies….do you feel that there is a reason why you are flying solo right now….why are you single?

-The Single Bitch