A blossoming relationship is a beautiful thing but if I could give one piece of advice to women in relationships it would be, DO NOT FORGET ABOUT YOUR FRIENDS!!!
When you are in love you just want to be around your man and bask in his presence and that is okay but nothing irks me more than a woman who neglects other areas in her life. Love is not easy to find and finding a good man is even harder but TRUE FRIENDS are rare to come by. What I find even more annoying about women like this is when her man and her are having issues the first person she wants to call is her friend. When her man and she have reached the end of their relationship she is going to call you to sit around the house to drink wine and listen to slow jams while she cries. Now I do not know about you but I am not with this type of shit. If you did not think enough of me to call and see if I was still breathing or to even wonder if I a needed a shoulder to cry on then I do not see a benefit of having you in my life. Of course you want to be there because you are a good friend but I tend to hesitate when I feel that those actions have not been reciprocated. I know sometimes people do things that can hurt people that they are unaware of but some things are true character flaws that I just do not dig. I take friendship very seriously and I know relationships are not about give and take but do not expect me to be there on your terms. This comes off very selfish and disloyal to me.
The last thing I am going to say is do not take your friends for granted. Men may come and go but true friends are there to stay. Treat people how you want to be treated and show the type of love that you would like to receive.
The Single B*tch
So I was thinking…what if the man of your dreams was someone who you least expected? No he is not shorter, taller, older or younger than you but he is of a different race. I would like to think that America has come far but every time an interracial couple walks into a room you can hear a pin drop and the sound of crickets (even if you aren’t outside). I have never been the one to discriminate against a good ole fashioned swirl but I have had my reservations…
I grew up in the suburbs and it kind of reminds me of the movie Pleasantville. Everyone seemed so happy all the time and their lives appeared so perfect. Growing up I was always attracted to the boys outside of my race. It was not because it was my preference but those were the only guys I was surrounded by so that is what I found myself more attracted to. As kids they would flirt with me, tell me that I am pretty and pass me notes but would never pursue a “relationship” with me. Now that I am older I find myself getting openly approached by the same guys and others when I go out. When people get older we are more open and honest about what we like and refuse to keep it hidden but even though I am very open about trying new things there is something that scares me about the “swirl”. I do not ever want to feel like a novelty, something on your bucket list to try before your 30th birthday or a different flavor at Baskin Robins. When a guy of another race makes a move towards me I can’t help but think that he just wants to take me for a test ride and attempt to fill a fantasy. Again, like other unknowns when it comes to possibly finding love, I’m scared.
Life is full of surprises and it is almost impossible to predict what will happen from one day to the next. What if what we always wanted in a man was outside of our comfort zone and into another? We cannot continue to let society or what our aunties say dictate how we feel or think if you are in fact definite or sure about what is inside. Hell even if you aren’t sure it’s definitely worth a try! Next time I get approached by a man who’s skin has less melanin than mine…I’ll be sure to give him a double take 🙂
The Single B*tch
I do not care who you are…dating is not easy at all. I do not believe in following rules but I do believe that there are some things for you to keep in mind and remember while dating. I am no expert on dating but I do believe that I have operating as a single girl in this world down to a science. Here is what keeps me functioning…
It is okay to be selfish. Of course you do not want to be inconsiderate of someone else’s feelings but it is important to put your needs and wants in front of his at times…you are not in a relationship yet!
Do not let loneliness lead you to lust. I am guilty of this time after time. I know it can be so hard to come home to an empty house and you do not have that companion to make you feel good. There have been times I have given a guy a chance that did not even deserve to be in my presence. Wanting and needing something that I am missing has even gotten me into some sticky situations. Some were extremely hard to get out of and some even left deep emotional scars. Do not let being lonely determine how you think of yourself. Honey being alone has even made me find men attractive that do not even deserve a second look. I have even considered trying to “upgrade” a man and Lord knows I am too old to “build-a-man”. Who knew that something that you think can make you feel better makes you feel so bad…
Think outside the box. One reason I found myself missing out on dating opportunities is because I did not want to step outside of my comfort zone. I did not want to believe that other races, ages and men of other backgrounds that I was not use to could not offer me anything. I mean hey…the only thing that could happen is it not working!
Get to know you. Like I said…I am not expert on dating but when it comes to being a single girl I know all of the ropes. One thing that bothers me about some single girls is that fact that they do not know how to feel comfortable alone. It is never okay to feel like you need the company of another to make you feel complete. During this time outside of a relationship get to know what it is that makes you happy. If you always hopping from one man to the next how is it possible to NOT lose yourself??? Date you for a while…it’s okay.
Get real and be honest. Honesty is the key. Before you can be honest with others you have to first be honest with yourself. You have to get down to the “nitty gritty” and figure out what is it that you really want.
Don’t settle for sex. If sex is not what you want then don’t settle for it. Every girl needs their pipes clean every now and then but if you’re just having sex to fill a void do not do it. I have been there and done that and it only hurts…TRUST ME!!!!!
What about your friends? Utilize this time to build your friendships and have fun with your friends. Do not forget about them…you need em’
Do not contradict. If you do not have it all together…do not expect him to. It’s not fair!!!
KNOW YOUR WORTH!!!!!!! No explanation is needed…
The Single B*tch