Tag Archives: life

Sometimes I…

Sometimes I wish that I was more courageous, outgoing and daring. I wish that I felt more confident about my body and every other imperfection. Some days I feel so damn unpretty and other days I feel like the most beautiful girl in the room. Sometimes I wish I knew how the f*ck I really feel and then there are times when I think I have it all figured out. There are moments when I am comfortable with being alone and other moments I feel so unwanted and lonely. Sometimes I wish I did not feel that the only two men who love me are my father and my son. Sometimes I wish I was not so damn real and maybe that I way I would be a lot further in life.

As much as I hide it sometimes I wish I was not so insecure. I wish I was not so damn cheap to buy internet and that way I would not have to drain my phone battery because I am using hotspot. Sometimes I was I had a different cell phone carrier and that way I would not miss phone calls and I can keep up with my social networking. Sometimes I wish that I wasn’t so sexual and I would be okay with this dry spell I am going through. There are times that I wish I wasn’t so vulgar and I could be the little southern belle that I know I am. I wish that men were not so superficial so they can accept my short hair and edgy look. Sometimes I wish I could wrap my hair up in a turban, wear a flowing dress with little to no makeup (I have to fill in my eyebrows though) but still feel like a super model.

Some days I wish that I could drink more classy drinks like wine and fruity cocktails instead of my bubbly ice cold beer. There are times when I wish I did not have good values and self-respect so that I could f*ck my way to the top instead of doing things the right way. Sometimes I wish that I was not so misunderstood and you can understand how the hell I really feel. At times I wish I did not have these stretch marks but I love my son. Sometimes I wish that I was more than just a “baby mama.” Sometimes I wish that my son’s father could relate and feel where the f*ck I am coming from. Sometimes I wish that I could see the good in myself so that I can see the good in others.

One day I hope that how I sometimes feel would disappear and I can accept that everything may not go as planned but I can always face the inevitable and life’s flaws….

With Love,

The Single B*tch

I Guess Patience Really Is A Virtue

I am not sure who quoted or said this but something that I live by is that you cannot think beyond your exposure what you thought you were ready for now may not be what you need at this moment. When I think of this, I think of the fact you cannot be ready for what you have not experienced or have knowledge of. We live in a generation of instant gratification. We are so use to having the world at our fingertips that when we want it, we want it now.

I became a mother at 20 and I was enrolled and college at that time. I was in college for about five years but then I thought that I had been a student for too long and on top of that I was not even working. Eventually I graduated and found a job that worked for me. I guess at that time I felt the need to rush my life and get things in order because I had a child to provide for. I felt like I was behind and needed to take 20 steps forward because I knew people who were making things happen. I soon learned that comparing your success or life to someone else’s WILL MESS YOU UP EVERY TIME.

Most of us have the same goal in mind…SUCCESS. I think the real struggle is figuring out what success means to you. Each of us take different paths in life. Some of us reach our destination faster or slower than others because we may have more resources or fewer obstacles than some do. Patience is key. If you jump at the idea of something too fast you may miss out on what is actually planned for you. Not to mention…you will waste your time and that you can NEVER get back. Just know that because it is not happening for you now does not mean that it never will. Even though sacrificing is important but being obedient to what your heart says, instincts and who you pray to is greater. When you think about something day in or day out…GO FOR IT! Failure is not the worst thing that can happen. Just be still and know that what is for you, is for you. It just may not be your time yet, but when that alarm clock is set and ready to go off it is time for you to wake up and get what is yours!

“Efforts and courage are not enough without purpose and direction.” John F Kennedy

-The Single B*tch