Tag Archives: maturity

One Sometimes Isn’t the Loneliest Number

In my previous post growing pains I discussed going through a point in your life of self-reflection and growth. A part of this developmental stage is being alone. In this case I am not just focusing on being alone in reference to a romantic relationship but a relationship with yourself. While growing into who you want to be it is important to utilize this alone time to help make yourself better.

While I was going through self-reflection and growing into a better me I found myself feeling a little anti-social. I am not exactly a social butterfly but I am pretty sociable. I like to go to the bar for a nice cocktail or enjoy a nice summer day party to listen to some great music. Slowly but surely I found myself not wanting to be around people, I didn’t want to pick up my phone or return text messages. At first I thought something was wrong with me like I was going through a depression or something but then I realized that I needed this. I was afraid that I would lose friends but my true friends respected the process. I also found that I was able to notice and observe more and this includes people and things. I also noticed some things in myself that I did not like or that needed improvement. I saw things in some people who made me want to no longer involve myself with them. I thought about some friends that I grew apart from that I wanted to reunite with and I also noticed that some people had a whole lot of things going on that I did not want to add more weight on me. Think about this…when most of your friends call you of course it is natural for them to share with you what they are going through. And even though that is what friends do and naturally you want to listen and help but when you are going through it is too much to handle. Being a loyal and true friend I wanted to lend out advice, give my opinion or just sit there and listen to them vent but I knew that I did not want my process to be interrupted. I soon found out that this…being alone…was the best thing to ever happen to me.

If you too are going through this do not get down. Take one day at a time and learn to listen to yourself and figure out your purpose in the midst of all of this “mess”. If you utilize this time positively and smartly I promise that you will come out bigger and better than before.

With Love,

The Single B*tch

Charge It To The Game!

I was thinking….as much I think I know men and I know all about love…I do not! I always thought I understood how I felt or understood that men will play games but I am wrong. Where myself, and other women go wrong, is trying to always decipher what a man does or the way he thinks. One thing I can say is that I believe that a man is habitual and once he is yours and you know him you can always figure out his next move. Until he does belong to you, it is one rule you need to follow…CHARGE THAT SH*T TO THE GAME.

I have always been the type that always tried to play the FBI, DEA and the feds when it came to figuring out the who, what, when and why’s of a guy’s actions. But I am learning, it is a waste of time trying to decode one’s thoughts especially if he is not expressing them to you. As I have said before we need to learn how to use our intuition and begin noticing the patterns and get out while you have the chance. To be honest sometimes, well a lot of times, things that happen in a relationship or while dating are totally unpredictable and inevitable. There were times that I have blamed myself when things took the turn for the worse. I would say maybe if I would have called a little later, sooner or not at all maybe he would still be here. I would say maybe if I would have relaxed more and let things happen he would still be here. The truth is he is no more ready five phone calls later than he was when you made that first call or text.

I just need to accept that it is what it is and a man is going to do what he is going to do. As immature as it is some guys just play the game and the field and have a set of guidelines and rules for how they think they can woo a woman or get what they want. You may feel hurt, embarrassed or even fooled but we all make mistakes when it comes to dating but you live and you learn. From now on I am going to let the chips fall where they and I will treat him exactly how he treats me and be 10Xs better at it and not give two damns…NOW CHARGE THAT SH*T TO THE GAME!!!!

-The Single B*tch