Have you ever wanted something so bad that no matter what you did it just did not seem to work? It seems like whether it is personal or professional things do not happen when you want them to, they happen when you need them to. Many things in life are worth waiting on especially love but sometimes it is difficult to wait on something especially when you have expectations.
I have always been the type of girl who played the field or was never in a rush to settle down. Basically I was never the relationship type of girl. What I mean by that is you will not see me jump from relationship to relationship and I can feel comfortable on my own. I came across a guy who was different from the guys that I have dated in the past. He has an admirable career as a teacher, adored his mother, was involved in the church, very spiritual, had great values, respected strong women, he was eclectic and loved life. My friends all tell me that I am very aggressive when it comes to dating and some men may not know how to receive such confidence so I decided to take a different route with this guy. I tried my best to be more lady-like or have more set rules when dating. So since I thought he was worth the time I decided to try this out. Welp…this did not go as planned. We had some very good times but I asked him what he was looking for and a girlfriend was not one. I decided to hang in there because of course, like all women, I thought that I could change a man. Oh was I wrong! We did not end badly but I did cut things off at that time. Looking back on the situation I really wish that I would have done things differently. Hindsight is always 20/20, or at least it should be, but at that time I was not even ready for what I THOUGHT I wanted. Who was I to even map out some unknown plan?
First thing’s first…YOU CAN NOT CHANGE A MAN OR HIS MIND UNLESS HE HIMSELF IS READY TO DO SO. Secondly, do not let someone else’s expectations influence how you should date or how you think love should be. Sometimes we think we need or should have certain things because of what others around us have. What may work for someone else may not work for you. When you have interest in someone it is good to let things happen. Do not get me wrong, if you and the person you are dating want two different things then the best thing to do is let it go! Look at it on the bright side…you may not have exactly what you wanted but you did not leave empty handed. It is nothing wrong with a friendship instead. If you ask me…I think that is why things do not last. There is no proper foundation of friendship. Waiting for something perfect to happen is a waste of time because you may miss out on something great waiting for something that will NEVER happen.
I am not sure who quoted or said this but something that I live by is that you cannot think beyond your exposure what you thought you were ready for now may not be what you need at this moment. When I think of this, I think of the fact you cannot be ready for what you have not experienced or have knowledge of. We live in a generation of instant gratification. We are so use to having the world at our fingertips that when we want it, we want it now.
I became a mother at 20 and I was enrolled and college at that time. I was in college for about five years but then I thought that I had been a student for too long and on top of that I was not even working. Eventually I graduated and found a job that worked for me. I guess at that time I felt the need to rush my life and get things in order because I had a child to provide for. I felt like I was behind and needed to take 20 steps forward because I knew people who were making things happen. I soon learned that comparing your success or life to someone else’s WILL MESS YOU UP EVERY TIME.
Most of us have the same goal in mind…SUCCESS. I think the real struggle is figuring out what success means to you. Each of us take different paths in life. Some of us reach our destination faster or slower than others because we may have more resources or fewer obstacles than some do. Patience is key. If you jump at the idea of something too fast you may miss out on what is actually planned for you. Not to mention…you will waste your time and that you can NEVER get back. Just know that because it is not happening for you now does not mean that it never will. Even though sacrificing is important but being obedient to what your heart says, instincts and who you pray to is greater. When you think about something day in or day out…GO FOR IT! Failure is not the worst thing that can happen. Just be still and know that what is for you, is for you. It just may not be your time yet, but when that alarm clock is set and ready to go off it is time for you to wake up and get what is yours!
“Efforts and courage are not enough without purpose and direction.” John F Kennedy
-The Single B*tch
If God didn’t give a woman anything else he gave her intuition. Maybe it is just me but it is almost like you know it before it happens but you just need that one tad bit of proof. All it takes is that one gut feeling and we are already on edge. To sum it all up… We ain’t stupid ( well some of us aren’t). The most dumb thing you can do is ignore your initial feeling because 9 times out 10 it is right.
For some women in a relationship they notice the changes in their man and know something is up before the sh*t hits the fan. Well for me my intuition kicks in immediately when I meet a guy. Unfortunately I choose to ignore it at times. Personally I know how it feels to want something that you already know isn’t for you. For the first time in a long time I met a guy that I was extremely attracted to physically and sexually. When I met him, I knew something wasn’t right. It doesn’t mean that he is a bad person but what he had to offer at that time is not parallel to where I am in life. I had all of the signs in front of me such as his inconsistency, what I saw on his social media sites and what others told me. Maybe I am a little silly but I NEVER go by what others say. I like to go by the motto IF I DIDN’T SEE IT, IT DIDN’T HAPPEN! What is kind of crazy is that no matter what I am feeling or even seeing I know I am still going to check it out just to see what will happen. I really could care less what others think but see I have a big ego and I hate to prove myself wrong. As I am sitting here writing this I am wondering why a lot of women do this (don’t act like you don’t) and I think I somewhat have it figured out…
We women have a natural-born gift of intuition but sometimes I wonder if our gut feeling is being affected by what we hear or see. If we are looking for something we will find it EVERYTIME! Being a woman I have learned that through experience we learn how to recognize patterns. I am beginning to think that listening and letting your intuition guide you has a lot to do with your inner growth. So maybe I have not grown internally and emotionally as I think I have and again that is why I choose to be single at this time. We need to learn how to sometimes mute the selfish desires, especially when we know something is not for us, and comfort so we can find a way to seek the truth
-The Single B*tch
5 Simple Steps that lead to your inner guidance:
1) Take a moment out of your day to spend quiet time alone. No electronic devices allowed!
2) Now take pen to paper and begin emptying your head. Spontaneously write whatever comes to mind. You’re creating white space. Clearing the path to the door of inner receptivity.
3) Next, put down the pen and spend five minutes in silence.
4) Ask for assistance, answers, guidance — whatever you need.
5) Listen… Trust… Follow…
5 simple steps that lead to your inner guidance was quoted from http://www.huffingtonpost.com/susan-ann-darley/mindfulness-practice_b_4551609.html