The Infamous Question…Why Are You Single???

When we girls go out to a club, bar or wherever and if we get approached by a guy why is the first question that he asks is “why are you single?” And of course my reply is ” if I knew I wouldn’t be single.” But then I thought….hell, why am I single?  But then I reflected back over past relationships and I realized how they impacted me as an individual and I feel as though that I need to grow more before I can share myself with someone else.

Do you feel that you are single because of bad karma? Do you feel that your status defines you? For one minute please do not think something is wrong with you or less of yourself because you do not have someone to call your own at this moment. I’m starting to believe that some men are truly intimidated by strong and confident women. Some of us women do not even know what we need in a man. Also, lets not confuse what we want and need. Some of us do not even step outside of our comfort zone and we go out to places that we know do NOT have boyfriend material there. While you are alone maybe this is the time you should be discovering yourself and this should be a time of growth. I feel as though if you cannot stand alone it is almost impossible for you to stand with someone else. Women I can not let some of us off the hook because sometimes we make it hard for ourselves. You also can not expect certain things from a man if you can not offer something just as valuable in return. I do not think it is fair to want a guy to give, give and give but there is no reciprocity on our end.  I absolutely HATE hearing that when you are not looking you will find love. But why would you look when you are not ready to make yourself available. Is it true that timing is everything?  So ladies….do you feel that there is a reason why you are flying solo right now….why are you single?

-The Single Bitch

5 thoughts on “The Infamous Question…Why Are You Single???”

  1. I know that I’m single because my heart is invested in my ex. We recently cut ties and as much as I’ve been preparing to move on, I can’t let go. I’ve tried dating but there isn’t a guy that has changed how I feel. I definitely feel you on being alone, Im not ready to hurt anyone by playing games. Just a piece of me wants him to come back but in reality he doesn’t deserve me. Is it wrong that I only want a sex partner?

    1. I think there is nothing wrong with just wanting a sex partner if that’s truly what you want. Let’s just hope you do not get a hold of some good and fall in love! Lol

  2. I think I am single because all the men that want me, I don’t want. And the one that I want, I don’t need. I will “talk” to someone for years before committing because when I commit, I’m in it for the long haul–I ain’t with that break up to make up shit…nigga ain’t no breaking up. But, I won’t commit (actually giving it a title) till I know that I’m happy and I know that no one else even sparks my interest.

    1. I have been in the same position more than once. It’s natural to be afraid but maybe if we are not making a move it’s probably because we aren’t ready.

  3. Although I am no longer a “single bitch” technically, my goal is marriage and until I receive my Rock of Gibraltar I consider myself a “single bitch in a relationship”. Considering I’ve been there and done that I feel I can relate and offer a perspective. *sips wine* I think I was single for a couple of reasons. The main one being, as you’ve touched on, not having me together. I think this is a huge factor that a lot of women over look. I know it sounds like every day beauty shop advice but honestly, if you don’t have your shit together you shouldn’t be looking to be in a relationship and it shouldn’t be your concern. There is no way on earth that one will develop or work. What usually happens is a woman looking for everything she doesn’t see in herself or looking for this man she has created based on a collective criteria that all of her homies or society has made her feel like she needs versus deciding what she needs herself. Another issue I found was that I was just honestly putting myself in the wrong situation. I hate the fact the majority of us women like to find all of the blame in men versus being responsible for the wrong we’ve done. A lot of women feel they can change a man, or wait around until he changes or honestly once again, based on some advice she’s received from other “single bitches”, a woman will place herself in a situation that is headed for nothing more than disaster. Being fully self-aware allows for growth and most of all understanding. Men are simple, we make them complicated. Take a man for what he is. Being delusional and day dreaming will leave your ass single for years to come.

    Been there. Done that.

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